chapter 456

I won't say
I won't react
I won't be please
I won't agree
I won't give in
I won't accept
I won't answer
I won't follow..

................................

Here it go my fav christmas season..
ithought it will be diff but still.... same
i really hate the feeling that i almost got it but still nt yet reach.. or rather it stop or go another direction...
really drive me madly..
YOU IDIOT

anyway i love this christmas somehow cos i spent it with my family, friends & team mate :)
they are the most impt ppl in my life..
without them i won't be happy, i won't have any smile on my pretty face :)
thanks for being there for me no matter what..
merry x'mas & happy new yr ..
...................

somehow it seen to be more stress and heavy workload..
is it i expect to much from others and myself?
i think highly because i believe that i can do it.. but i just cant..
the feeling of useless is really very very suck..
just hate myself so much that i want to slap myself..
but no matter what i need to ignore everything and keep it going..

sometimes i feel like having a warm hug, a tap on my back or a little motivation to keep me going.. let me know that im not alone..
i dunno how long i can hold on.. :\
im just not that strongth enough
i may look like a wonder woman but behind it i just a normal weak girl that will break down easily..
the way i describe might be bit erxin but this is the fact..
and this is what i am hidding all the time.
i will try my very best to control myself no matter what.

Jy bah.. gonna come back even stronger than before